Expiration Date

I am quickly discovering that everything has an expiration date, but not everything goes bad on that day. For example, over a month ago I purchased a carton of eggs (probably closer to 2 months ago if I am really honest with myself) and just last night I did the 'bad egg test' to see if they were bad, hoping by some miracle they wouldn't be...low and behold regardless of their expiration date they were placed into a mix of brownies and very much enjoyed. You are probably wondering what in the world am I thinking using old (very old) eggs and not just buying a new carton? Well it's a 2 fold answer. After having shingles for nearly 3 1/2 weeks I was completely unable to babysit, because of the fear of giving any of the kids chickenpox, therefore eliminating my income completely, then add in a trip home, a trip to georgia, plus living in the boonies of north carolina, driving into town, driving back to lynchburg, an oil change, the list could go on and on with these basic needs and you have the first part of the answer....I literally am living off what is already in my pantry and in the back of the fridge....Normally buying a carton of eggs would be no problem but with my leave of absence from babysitting and my parents financial well crisis (aka we are living off all they saved, which is apparently only going to let us keep the house until january, unless by some miracle dad starts to get some plumbing work) I am finding that I have to be all the more resourceful in my daily life, which means using out of date eggs whether or not I want to. The second part to this phase of my life is that I am trying to take these somewhat stressful stages and turn them into a learning process. I have been extremely challenged to live on much less than I do, to live without excess, and to truly balance out my life in regards to luxury and necessity. So what better time to do so then when I really have to? I can confidently say that I am learning a lot about my life and about what my life needs to look more like but I would be lying to say it hasn't been hard. It's begun a beautiful transition in my life, I am daily being reminded that though I feel lost in this I am still considered the one of the world's wealthiest, I have never had to be without food or shelter and therefore am still blessed beyond belief. I am also beginning to own the reality of the life Christ has called us to, a life of radical abandonment. A life not guaranteed comfort, pleasures, and luxury here on this earth but promised an even greater reward of His overwhelming every surpassing peace and presence. Nothing compares to this type of life, even if it means eating some frozen vegetables for breakfast every now and then. ;-)

Fading with Time

I never imagined those these words to be true, but feelings, thoughts, and even passion....they can all fade with time. Time has crept up and stolen away so many memories. I am a 10 days and 14 hours away from once again stepping foot on my beloved Burkina. I never dreamed that I would be going back so soon, and yet here I am, bag packed (yes only one bag this time in comparison to the 8 I took before) and more anxious than ever to get on that plane.

On June 30th this past summer I found out I would be going back to Burkina for a short 11 day stint to work with a team from Franklin, building the new STMO center (where I will hopefully one day soon be living). When I committed to going I naively assumed that the preparation for this trip, spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally would be simple and insignificant. I mean c'mon I had been to Burkina twice already and lived there for 6 months, what could I possibly be in for before going again? Little did I know at that time that my confidence would bring about extreme vulnerability and many trials in the months to come. It wasn't until just 2 weeks ago did I start to really see and literally feel the effects of attack I was under. I woke up one morning with 2 what I deemed 'spider bites' on my neck and an extremely sore and swelling throat. Within a matter of hours the 'spider bites' had gotten worse and would continue to get worse for the next few days. Being in a Microbiology class I found it rather ironic that the Professor was talking about MRSA (a staph infection) that was easily mistaken for 'spider bites' and knowing that at least once that week I was in the Lab with a dirty lab coat working very closely with the MRSA bacteria I began to get a little worried. I asked my professor what he thought it could be and his response was, well, rather far fetched...He thought ring worm...None the less I headed to the doctor, for the first time in years only to discover I was presently the wonderful recipient of SHINGLES! What in the world? Shingles? Who even gets shingles? I hadn't had chicken pox and that is what the virus is derived from, I was utterly confused and beginning to be in a lot of pain with constant itching and an extremely swollen throat. I was immediately prescribed a genital herpes medicine and vicatin, 2 lovely combinations. After about a week of the shingles slowly getting worse and then fading I started to notice other patches of similar red itchy bite like patches all over different areas of my body. Out of the normal for me I returned to the doctor to now discover that I was a wonderful candidate of HIVES...at this point I just began to laugh, and joked to the Doctor that the next week I would be in with Bed bugs. It was during these 2 miserable weeks that I realized I was in fact under attack. The naive confidence I had had become humility and would begin a week of awakening in my life. I sat down just sunday with my boyfriend Dane who confronted me about my joy and passion for God. He said something that opened an area in my heart I had shut out since I came home from Burkina in december. I began to pour out my heart about all of the stuff I had been carrying since coming home. Things I just stacked one on top of the other putting God at the bottom of it all, I knew that deepening my intimacy with him meant I had to deal with all of these things, obstacles, emotions and experiences that I hadn't dealt with but rather just hid behind for this entire year. Everyone told me the transition back would take awhile and I would feel the effects of my time there for the rest of my life but I had no idea it would take me almost an entire year to confront with God the things I witnessed and the things I was carrying since coming back. A lot has changed in my life since that year but the passion and love I felt during my time there has not left, it's just been suppressed and unfortunately so. So yesterday was a day of awakening, a day of new beginnings, a 6 hour drive that turned out to be 8 grueling hours in the car alone, just me and God. A time where I could begin to un-shovel the stack of things I had piled on in my life that allowed me to hide from the reality of dealing with the difficult emotions. And so here I sit, renewed, and genuinely excited about what is to come in 10 days, and what is to coming during these 10 days of preparation. Before this past week I had hoped that this trip would bring to fruition and conclusion all of what I was hiding from but now I am praying that it brings about more upheaval in my life and more burning passion in my service. Stay posted to see how these next 10 days lay out and what going back to a place I have been craving to be for the entire year I have been home.

One year

A year ago today this would become my backyard.

It's hard to believe that it's been a year since I boarded a plane to spend the 6 craziest months of my life in Burkina Faso. I never expected the time to come and go so quickly.

I never expected to fall in love so quickly, to give my heart away so readily ...

To find a comfort and peace that surpassed all of my understanding, in a place that was so foreign and uncomfortable...

I never expected to discover such passion, and vision, or to experience such heartbreak...

And I never expected it to still hurt so much after being back for so long.

My Last day

First of of let me start of by apologizing for how long it has taken me to post this. Waking up that last morning in Burkina I anticipated a long day of anxiety, waiting and waiting until the plane would leave, little did I know that is not what was in store at all.

December 6,2009: I thought by this point I had reached every climax that would come during my time in Burkina but that ended up being far from the truth.

Before I came out to Burkina I had a vision of raising money to build or add onto a Compassion International site here, originally the plans were to build one on the Tanghin property but due to the slowness in which things are built out here that wans't looking like much of a reality, seeing as how a church had to first be established and at this point had yet to be built. So one day Pete came to me with a proposition to build onto a already established Compassion site because many of them were in desperate need of more classrooms in order to take in new children. I thought this idea was splendid and agreed to start investing in that instead, little did I know at that time that the Compassion site he had in mind was the same site I had visited so often, Claudine, my little girls' site. I was thrilled when I had the opportunity to go out and meet with the Pastor and the director and explain what the vision was for what we wanted to build. We ended up with building a new classroom and a new office, (since the one they had was used as a classroom); this would enable them to take in 80 more children immediately!

So just before I left I had the opportunity to go out and see the progress of what was being built.
This is to be the new classroom.
After my 'tour' of the new facilities (literally a 5 foot walk and a turn) they asked me into the office. As we sat down drinking our very cold and refreshing sprites they began to thank me for everything I had done for them, for the toothbrushes, for the visits, for the encouragement, for the pictures, and for the new buildings. They then began to bring me a brown paper bag saying that they had talked to the Compassion children who had all wanted to give me a gift and took up an offering during their church services to buy me something special to show their gratitude for all I had done.
When I opened the bag tears came to my eyes as I pulled out a beautiful white comple' (or outfit) that they had chosen just for me. I was so overwhelmed, not so much as to the outfit but more so as to how much it must have cost them and how much they cared.

After I put on the stunning outfit they wanted me to go and show all of the children, as I walked in the room a roar of applause broke out and tears began to fall. This was the end of my time, I wasn't going to see these children whom I had dearly fallen in love with for quite some time. No longer was I going to be able to drive out and see my beautiful Claudine, and yet I knew it wouldn't be forever until I saw her again just awhile. It wasn't goodbye, it was see you later, she understood.

After that I went to the Dorcas House, the other place most dear to my heart in all of Burkina, they girls had originally thought I wasn't going to be able to say goodbye so you can imagine their surprise when I showed up just before getting on the plane.

This was a bittersweet day, not only for me but also for these girls, they were leaving to go home in a week. Their year had ended and just as I was facing the realities of leaving friends who had become family and a strange land that had become home, so were they. I was able to share with them some encouraging words and let them know that no matter the distance or the circumstances I would be praying for them. Miriam stood up and asked Amy if they could pray for me because they knew the trials in store. I remember, standing in the middle of these 15 girls who had become sisters to me, feeling their hands upon my back and my arms, listening to them pray in 5 or 6 different languages the unexplainable overwhelming realization came, I began to weep. Was this what God had planned all along? Had I really missed it until just now? 2 years ago I stood in that very spot, on that very property, hand in hand casting a vision over that land and praying for God's blessing upon it. I remember praying very specifically for the girls that would one day live here and here I was surrounded by an answer to prayer. I was standing in the vision come true. It was the most humbling and joyous moment of all the moments I had experienced. Why me? Why was I so honored to see a vision come to life, to see the lost become saints, to see the love of Christ, the intercession of prayer become a reality? I realized that if there was nothing but this moment, this is why I came, to be awakened to the reality that God is always always faithful. This moment was the Climax of my time in burkina, I didn't think the last day had anything left to offer, but I was so very wrong.

My dearest friend Martine, when we hugged goodbye she began to weep (something you will never see in Burkina), but there she was weeping over my departure, it tore my heart in two...how could six months have brought 2 stranger so close? It was only by the Love of Christ!

This was my life, this is what I hope my life to be, these girls are my family and I hope that this moment will not have been our last but only just a beginning!

Home Sweet Home

I have been home now for a little over 2 months and life has been far from easy. I anticipated culture shock coming back, I mean I was told that walking into WalMart or the grocery store would be too overwhelming and I would have to leave, but to my surprise it was quite the opposite experience for me. I walked in and found myself enamored with all of the choices and options and things a place so large could offer. And I cannot even express how happy I was to drive a car again, and yet how desperately I missed (and still do) my moto. Did I mention when I came back it was like 20 degrees? Well it was, and it snowed, almost immediately...There were days I questioned why I lived in such a cold state or country for that matter and why I ever left Burkina, despite the sweltering heat.

Christmas break was such a blessing, I so dearly missed my family and friends and it was so nice to have everyone back together in one place. It was a release to be able to speak English everywhere once again, though I often found myself still thinking and responding in French. And it was nice to have a time where nothing else mattered but being with those that are closest to you. As amazing as break was it was also a huge reality check, seeing as how I was only home for a month before life had to start again and during that month I can't remember a single day that passed by where someone didn't ask "How was Africa?" This simple question drove me to insanity. I came home realizing I needed to process everything I had experienced and yet with an unwillingness to do so. I was so use to coming home from short term trips on a spiritual 'high' and expected the same after coming home from my internship, only to find myself in a deep and dark 'low.' It was a scary place of growth to be in, on the one hand I knew I had to allow myself to process and on the other I wanted very little to do with God because I knew that once I began communing with Him again I would have to process everything and face the reality that it was over. So for about 2 or 3 weeks I put my entire trip on the back burner of my mind, finding myself so angry and bitter at things I should have done and didn't do or things going on here in America, one of my dear friends even asked me after a long conversation about my time; "Did you hate everything and everyone?" WAKE UP CALL! I had been talking negatively about things because I was so lost as to what my life was about anymore, I felt like the climax was over and God had to do some huge work on my heart to get me back to the place where I could deal with the trials I faced and cherish the moments of triumph. All of this to say often I find myself wondering if the transition back was one of the harder parts about going...It has been nothing but adventure and discovery trying to figure out what is next for me. As of right now I am back a school, more sure than ever that I need adequate training before I go back over. What does the next year look like for me? Well I am hoping to start and finish Dental Hygiene school very soon, and then there is potential that a year from this summer I will be going back to Burkina to do a 2 year Health related Internship. (Something I would definitely appreciate prayer on).

Looking back I can't believe it's already done, something I spent 2 years dreaming up and making a reality passed in the blink of an eye, and yet though there is a sense of accomplishment I also know there is yet so much to do. So many more adventures lie ahead, this is only the beginning.

5 Years Ago

"And when I passed by I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became MINE."
~Ezekiel 16:8

"Love is a great thing, a great good indeed, which alone makes light all that is burdensome, and bears with even mind all that is uneven. For it carries a burden without being burdened; and it makes all that which is bittersweet and savoury. The love of Jesus is noble, and spurs us to do great things, and excites us to desire always things more perfect.

5 Years ago I walked into a closet alone, afraid, unsure, and ready to give up, only to answer a call that would change the course of my life forever. I walked out of that closet a new person, clothed in righteousness , crowned by glory, never to walk alone again, every fear wiped away, certain that He would always be in control and ready to embrace what would be the adventure of my lifetime.

Nothing is sweeter than love; nothing stronger, nothing higher, nothing broader, nothing more pleasant, nothing fuller, or better in Heaven and in earth; for love is born of God, and can rest only in God above all things created.


Never before have I been more in love than I am right now, at this very moment, I sit in awe of all that He, Jesus Christ, has done in me and through me. The places He has brought me, the people he has used to speak His love into my life, the things He has taught me, I have never been more in love than I am now.


The lover flies, runs, and rejoices; he is free and not held. He gives all for all and has all in all, because he rests in one supreme above all, from whom all good flows and proceeds.

Never before have I felt so free, so safe, so certain.


Love knows no measure, but warmly glows above measure.

Never would I have guessed that I would be here right now, all of my wildest dreams coming true. On my own, but never alone, weak but made strong, empty but made full, filthy but cleansed.

Love feels no burden, regards not labours, would willingly do more than it is able, pleads not impossibility, because it feels sure that it can and may do all things. It is able, therefore, to do all things; and it makes good many deficiencies.

No matter the distance, the pressures, the burdens, the strife, the uncertanties, the unncessaries, the things unknown, the things undone, the dark valleys, the dry streams that may come I will stand. Because I know, "it will become a place of refreshing springs." "Each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me." "Though I may stumble, I will never fall, for the Lord holds me up by the hand." and that "The Lord's plans stand firm forever, his intentions can never be shaken."

Love watches, and sleeping slumbers not; weary, is not tired; straitened, is not constrained; frightened, is not disturbed; but, living like a flame and a burning torch, it burts forth upwards and safely over-passes all.

5 Years ago I took His hand and have not left His arms since.

Love is the answer to all things: love ends all questions.

When all is said and done, whether I am to spend 6 years or 60 years with the Love of my Life, I know each day will be spent falling more in love with Him.


italics: Amy Carmichael

Yako

Welcome to Yako!
(yes that is what they are spelling with their bodies)

During our trip the youth did 3 VBS programs, a youth night, and a food distribution. This was taken during the first day, I think we were singing Il n'y a vraiment Personne comme Jesus (there is truly no person like Jesus), one of my favorite songs I might add.

Friday we ventured out to Gobila, a village just outside of Yako to do the same VBS program.

This picture describes perfectly what Olivia and I did all week, took pictures. I witnessed the entire trip trough a differnt lens than everyone else, never have I been on a mission trip that I was semi-leading, stepping back to observe, and trying to catch those precious moments on camera. It was strangely bizare to realize that I was on a mission trip in a foreign country to which I came as a missionary. I learned so much from this experience and had such a blast being involved.

Even though I was a leader (as was matt as well) we still found time to join in the games, but not without my most recent growth, aka the camera).

The only (horrid) picture that we have of the 3 of us, this is Oliva and Sarah, 2 interns in Yako, they are INCREDILBE! We got to stay the whole week at their house, sleeping on their terrace under the stars and bathing with buckets!

One night we had "Team Night" where we built a bonfire and had such an incredible time of worship and prayer, no smores mind you...and we had to sit literally 25 feet away from th fire because it was sooooo hot. (ps. props goes to my girl scouting past for this one, I built this entire fire by myself, minus the guys lighting it was bug spray, oh the ways of africa).

One of our attempts at a team photo.

At the end of saturday this is exactly how I felt. We did a food distribution to some sponsored children in Lynn Peters, a missionary in Yako, program called Burkina Faso Outreach. We were literally there past dark, my station, you guessed it, pictures! We took over 150 pictures of the children so that they could be sent to their sponsors back home, and after it all I don't know a single person who wasn't exhausted.

The message that the youth chose to present on the trip was that of David and Goliath, they did a fantastic job and picking songs, dances, games, skits, and crafts that related. This was the skit of david and goliath, always performed once with goliath, aka Kevin, on a unicycle and then another time with kids involved.

This is the unicycle time,he make the fall seem more than real.

A thursday group picture at the site with all of the sponsored children.

This was taken at Gobila, this games is similar to duck, duck goose, but in french goes; le rena passe passe, chacun a son tour, chez le coiffure, mamadou, aisa. Translated means: the fox passes, everytime is your turn at the hair dressers, mamadou (a mans name) aisa (a womens name). No one quite understands it but ALL the kids know it, no matter where you go, they also play it with a flip-flop, setting it down behind the person who will chase them.

Henry blew me away with his ability to get on the kids level, always doing something to make them laugh, entertain them, and make them feel loved.

Kari did such a great job of leading, she lead songs, games, and always kept the children entertained.


Matt loving on the children!

They also played a game similar to skip-it, where they spin a bottle tied to string around and the kids jump over, there were some massive wipe outs during this game but it was a favorite.

These next pictures are just some of my favorites from the trip:

Overall the trip was incredible, I have never been so impressed by a group of youth then I was during these days. They gave their all and then some more, to pour out their lives for these children, even in the moments of complete chaos and stress they were pushing through, encouraging each other, and making the kids feel cherished. I loved being on this side of the spectrum for the first time, seeing things through the eyes of a leader, helping where help was needed but mostly watching as they took control, met the needs of the children, and showed the love of Christ through their words and actions.